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Funny honey

by Chicago


[ROXIE]
Sometime´s I´m right
Sometime´s I´m wrong
But he doesn´t care
He´ll String along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine

Sometime´s I´m down
Sometime´s I´m up
But he follows ´round
Like some droopy-eyed pup
He love me so
That sunny honey of mine

He ain´t no sheik
That´s no great physique
Lord knows, he ain´t got the smarts

Oh, but look at that soul
I tell you, the whole
Is a whole lot greater than
The sum of his parts

And if you knew him like me
I know you´d agree
What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why, he´d be right there
Taking the blame

He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny, sunny, honey
Hubby of mine

[AMOS (Spoken)]
A man´s got a right to protect his home
and his loved ones, right?

[FOGARTY (Spoken)]
Of course, he has.

[AMOS (Spoken)]
Well, I came in from the garage, Officer, and I
see him coming through the window. With my
wife Roxanne there, sleepin´...like an angel...

[ROXIE]
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine

[AMOS (Spoken)]
...an angel!

[AMOS (Spoken)]
I mean supposin´, just supposin´, he had violated
her or somethin´...you know what I mean...
viloated?

[FOGARTY (Spoken)]
I know what you mean...

[AMOS (Spoken)]
...or somethin´. Think how terrible that would have been.
It´s a good thing I came home from work on time, I´m tellin´ ya that! I say I´m tellin´ ya that!

[ROXIE]
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine

[FOGARTY (Spoken)]
Name of deceased... Fred Casely.

[AMOS (Spoken)]
Fred Casely. How could he be a burglar?
My wife knows him! He sold us our furniture!

[ROXIE]
Lord knows he ain´t got the smarts

[AMOS (Spoken)]
She lied to me. She told me he was a burglar!

[FOGARTY (Spoken)]
You mean he was dead when you got home?

[AMOS (Spoken)]
She had him covered with a sheet and she´s givin´
me that cock and bull story abou this burglar, and
I ought to say that I did it ´cause I was sure to get off.
Burglar, huh!

[ROXIE]
Now, he shot off his trap

I can´t stand that sap

Look at him go
Rattin´ on me
With just one more brain
What a half-wit he´d be

If they string me up
I´ll know who
Brought the twine

[AMOS (Spoken)]
And I believed her!
That cheap little tramp. So, she
Was two-timing me, huh?
Well, then, she can just
Swing for all I care.
Boy, I´m down at the garage,
Working my butt off fourteen
Hours a day and she´s up mucnhin´
on god-damn bon bons and jazzing.
This time she pushed me too far.
That little chiseler.
Boy, what I sap I was!

That scummy, crummy
Dummy hubby of mine!





 

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